Articulating Intimacies From The Margins

Abstract

This study captures and visibilises intimacies of queer persons assigned female at birth newline (AFAB) in their romantic relationships. The study explores how queer persons define, newline express and navigate intimacies in a society where the rules of intimacy are heterosexual newline and cis-gender. This is a qualitative, phenomenological study, employing a queer- newline feminist standpoint epistemology and a power-marginalization lens to explore queer newline intimacies. Intimacies are embedded in an unequal social system of gender-sexuality and newline this study attempted to highlight narratives from the location of the oppressed. My own newline locations over fifteen years as a queer AFAB person (butch lesbian, cis-woman), a queer- newline feminist activist and a queer affirmative mental health practitioner have guided the entire newline research process. newline The study is Bombay-based. The invitation to participate in the study was circulated in newline queer networks known to me. Ten queer AFAB persons who identified cis-gender, non- newline binary gender, gender-queer and agender were interviewed using an open-ended newline interview guide. Participants were between the ages of twenty-nine to forty-seven years. newline Seven of them described their experiences of a relationship they are currently in and three newline spoke of past relationships. All participants were from Hindu, savarna, English-educated newline and middle and upper-middle class backgrounds, a reflection of my own social locations newline and access to queer spaces. newline Findings of the study throw light on how queer intimacies are done in newer or different newline ways from social norms of heterosexuality and cis-genderism. The popular assumption newline that queer people replicate or aspire to a heterosexual man-woman model of love is an newline incorrect one. Queer people have often resisted and subverted the norms thereby opening newline up newer possibilities on how intimacies can be understood and studied. Findings reveal newline that queer participants found their romantic relationships to be affirming of their queer newline selves. Being able to be their real selves was not an experience that was common to queer newline people. They often had to erase, self-censor or hide parts of themselves in order to keep newline safe, in most spaces they occupied. Therefore, romantic relationships as well as queer newline friendships, queer political and/or queer community spaces were experienced as intimate newline because they offered authenticity and safety. newline Queer intimacies were explored across four stages of a romantic relationship. newline Conceptualising intimacy through stages offered an in-depth exploration into the ever- newline present struggle with social norms that exists while finding, building, sustaining or newline ending intimacies as queer people. Findings showed that queer couples relied on their newline own values to guide their relationship and affirm their togetherness, rather than on newline existing social norms. The meanings of intimacy and how to organise everyday life with newline each other was based on egalitarian values rather than gendered scripts of masculinity newline and femininity. If romantic relationships ended it was often due to social pressure and newline stigma. Often, even after the romantic relationship was over, close bonds with exes newline continued and chosen families were created. newline Findings indicate that articulations of intimacies from the margins is the creation of new newline knowledge that is otherwise absent in mainstream understandings. These newer newline understandings have implications on how mental health support to couples is provided, newline how research on queer topics should be conducted and how curriculum on topics of newline gender-sexuality should be developed. Direction for further research is suggested. newline Keywords: newline queer, newline sexuality, newline LGBTQ, newline queer newline couples, newline intimacy, newline relationships, standpoint epistemology, queer theory, feminist theory newline